i so called like,
eavesdrop my sis, ade & wankee's conversation on the phone.

i was practically crying when i'm hearing them..
what they had said was simply unfair..
even ade agrees..
its like.. someone suddenly backstabs you in the back cos she wanted badly to lead something..
& someone who never contributes anything to guides, have gotten the third position..
she never goes for any camps, nor any campfires..
both ade & i had contributed alot for guides..
no.. nothing good is ever returned to us now.


theres like no logic in everything now.
those who are bound to be,
wasnt in it.
& those who wasnt bound to be in,
was in..
there is no principles of reasoning anymore..
teachers dont really care about wad you feel.
if they see you bu shuang, then they will just treat you as rubbish.

wheres the fairness in this world now?


i'm like still so super sad..
but, hey..
thnks guys..
yilian, jessie, samantha, quanyuan, adeline, yenling & huili..
thnks guys.. i was really touched by you guys (:


is it karma thats happening to me?
is it because of all the bad things that i've done?
or wad i've done in my past life?
well, then tell me..
what do i need to do in order for me to repent for my sins?
i dont wanna feel this way..
i dread crying & weeping..

i knew that i wasnt like that before that fateful day..
i was the cheery one.. the one who brightens people's day.
everyone knows that i laugh alot..
now?
everything has changed..
just by thinking about it,
i feel terrible.. i wanted to appeal..
but i know that it will just only make things much more worse..

cant believe ade told her *ahem* that neo had insulted both my sis & i..
& the guides teachers being unfair to me.
her *ahem* said that he was very mad & wanted to make neo cry..
i dont think its quite neccesary lah..
the decision has already been made..
& nothing can change it ain it?


one thing i would love to say..
theres no justice & fairness in my world anymore..
but not for some of you guys out there..
i had to envy people all the time..
i hate it..
why cant i be perfect?
i felt that i'm such a letdown for those who had high hopes for me.
sorry..


i wont reply tags in the tagboard for today.
i'll just post it here..
hope you guys wont mind (:

TAG REPLIES

• yenling; hmm.. what if i dont have a topic i like? well, i'm hopeless ain i? yeah.. i'll seek help if i really cant do anything right. my physics sucks too! all because of that horrible teacher.. heh..
• samantha; why are you sad? i'm more "sadder".. haish~
• jessie; but, my heart is like.. dead? i need advice from people.. help me? LOL.
• yilian; but, you still have to think ah.. she hasnt contributed anything to us.. she never turn up for anything. but, shes still our friend.. maybe, she should give her more time, just to see if she really changed for the better anot (:
• cQy; i hate my life now.. i'm born stupid, & yet, this stupid prob is coming to me now.. its making my life much more worse.. ants.. hahaha. i'm the big giant who comes & kills them all.. nice one =)
• huili; hey.. i did tried to be strong, but i'm just too sensitive & emotional mah.. dying is like the best solution la. my dad like dont even care about my probs.. all he cares about is study, study & study.. no one would cry for me when i'm gone anyways.. yeah.. a long long way.. i dont think i'll ever made it till the end. ^^
• amanda; yo amanda!! hmm.. i think it was me.. heh. you haven tell me your url!! tsk tsk tsk.. take care!! xD
• roufang; heys mental! he like.. very wad la. always calls girls to ans his qus.. PUI! as if he's very shuai like that.

thnks for all your comments.

:D